Looking for rehearsal dinner ideas? Start with the five questions couples ask most about planning the night before the wedding.
Key Takeaways:
- Who hosts and pays for the rehearsal dinner has become much more flexible, so families can choose what works for them.
- Your rehearsal dinner can stay intimate, while a welcome party gives you the option to include more of your wedding guests.
- The rehearsal dinner is one of the most relaxed parts of the wedding weekend, which is also what can make it worth photographing.
If you’re planning your rehearsal dinner, you may actually be trying to figure out the basics first: Who pays? Who gets invited? What do you wear? And what are you actually supposed to do that night?
After photographing weddings and the events surrounding them, I’ve seen rehearsal dinners take many different forms. Some are intimate dinners with immediate family and the wedding party. Others lead into larger welcome parties with nearly the entire guest list. There isn’t one right way to do it.
Before you start choosing flowers, menus, or a venue, here are five questions worth answering.
1. Who Pays for the Rehearsal Dinner?
Traditionally, the groom’s family hosted and paid for the rehearsal dinner. Today, that tradition is much more flexible.
The groom’s family may still host, but couples may pay themselves, both families may contribute, or the cost may be divided in another way that works for everyone involved.
One practical consideration: talk about the budget and expectations before anyone starts booking things.
If parents or family members are paying, make sure everyone understands whether they are simply contributing financially or whether they also expect to be involved in decisions about the guest list, venue, and style of the evening.
And remember, your rehearsal dinner doesn’t have to compete with your wedding reception. A beautiful dinner at a favorite restaurant, a relaxed dinner outdoors, or a gathering at a family home can be every bit as meaningful as a formal event.
2. Who Should Be Invited?
Traditionally, the guest list begins with the people participating in the ceremony: your wedding party and their partners, immediate family, and your officiant.
From there, you have choices.
You may want to include grandparents, close extended family, or other people who have an important role in your lives.
For destination weddings or weddings where a large percentage of guests are traveling, this is also where the lines between a rehearsal dinner and a welcome party can start to blur.
You don’t have to invite your entire wedding guest list to the rehearsal dinner. In fact, keeping this part of the weekend smaller can give you something you may not have much of the following day: time to actually sit with the people closest to you.
3. What Should You Wear?
There isn’t one rehearsal dinner dress code. What you wear should be guided by the venue, season, and formality of the evening.
An upscale restaurant or private club may call for cocktail or semi-formal attire. A backyard dinner or casual restaurant can be much more relaxed.
For the couple getting married, this is also an opportunity to have a little fun with your wedding-weekend style.
Brides often wear white, but you absolutely don’t have to. A colorful dress, jumpsuit, print, or something completely different from your wedding-day look can give the rehearsal dinner its own personality.
The same applies to grooms. Depending on the setting, that might mean a suit, trousers and a jacket, or something polished but more relaxed than the wedding-day attire.
If you’re looking for rehearsal dinner ideas for what to wear, my advice is to choose something that feels like you and that you’ll still enjoy seeing in photographs years from now.
The goal isn’t to outdress your wedding day. It’s to look like you’re attending the first celebration of your wedding weekend.
4. Rehearsal Dinner vs. Welcome Party: What’s the Difference?
They’re often talked about interchangeably, but they don’t have to be the same event.
A rehearsal dinner is traditionally the smaller gathering following the ceremony rehearsal. It usually includes immediate family, the wedding party, and others directly involved in the ceremony.
A welcome party is generally broader. It’s an opportunity to welcome more, or even all, of your wedding guests before the wedding day begins.
And you can absolutely do both.
For example, you might have an intimate dinner with 20 or 30 of your closest people, then invite the rest of your guests to join you afterward for cocktails and dessert.
I particularly love this format for destination weddings. When people have traveled a long way to celebrate with you, a welcome party gives you an opportunity to actually spend time with them before the wedding day.
It can also take some pressure off the reception. You’ve already hugged people, caught up, and welcomed them. You aren’t trying to fit every conversation into cocktail hour.
5. What Actually Happens That Night?
Usually, you eat, drink, talk, laugh, and finally spend some real time with the people you love.
And that simplicity is part of what makes the evening so good.
Beyond dinner, couples may include welcome remarks, toasts, speeches, or gifts for their wedding party.
It can also be a wonderful place for some of the more personal speeches.
Your wedding reception already has a timeline. The rehearsal dinner usually has a little more breathing room, which gives parents, siblings, and close friends the opportunity to tell stories and say things that may not necessarily fit into a three-minute wedding-day toast.
You don’t need to fill the evening with activities.
Let people talk. Let the two families get to know each other. Let everyone be excited about what is happening tomorrow.
One More Thing to Consider: Photography
Of all the rehearsal dinner ideas you might be considering, this is one couples sometimes don’t think about until afterward: having the evening photographed.
Not because you need another round of formal portraits. Quite the opposite.
Some of the moments I love most happen when people aren’t thinking about the camera. The rehearsal dinner is often full of exactly that: parents seeing old friends, grandparents sitting with family, stories being told, people laughing over dinner, and emotional toasts from the people who know you best.
There is another benefit I particularly love: by the time the wedding begins, your photographer isn’t walking into a room full of strangers.
I’ve already met your parents. I’ve seen the personalities in your wedding party. Your family has seen me working. Everyone is a little more comfortable.
That familiarity matters when my goal on your wedding day is to capture people as they actually are.
And if you’re hosting a welcome party, photography can become even more valuable. You’ve gathered many of the people you love in one place, often after they’ve traveled across states or countries to be there. Those relationships are part of your wedding story too.
Your wedding photographs tell the story of the day you got married. Rehearsal dinner and welcome party coverage can tell the story of the people who came together to celebrate you.
Your wedding story begins long before the ceremony. If you’re planning a weekend filled with the people you love, I’d love to document all of it, from the rehearsal dinner to the last dance. Let’s start planning your photography experience.
The Creative Team
A beautiful evening comes together through the people behind it. From the warm, intimate setting at The Georges to the bright summer florals, every detail created a relaxed and welcoming start to the wedding weekend.
Rehearsal Dinner Venue & Caterer: The Georges | Lexington, Virginia
Florals & Event Design: Caroline La Rocca Event & Design
Photography: Pat Cori Photography
